Well every year I watch the draft and think, I should keep a diary of my thoughts. This year I have decided to do it. I’m at my friends house, just finished eating some burgers and I am ready for this to go!!!!!
8:00 – Welcome to the NFL DRAFT…. I’m hoping Goodell is booed out of the place. Interesting that ESPN decided to keep it simple this year and rock out just Gruden, Kiper, and Berman…. We will see
8:05 - Roger Goodell walks to the podium and is booed like crazy!!!! Hahaha Yes!!! Serves you right you arrogant jackass. Stop saying I got ya!.... No you don’t, if you really did, you wouldn’t of threatened the lock out in the first place.
8:06 – Well, that didn’t take long. The first pick is in. It’s Newton, who might also be getting booed by the crowd. This screams bust all over it, and doesn’t make sense considering they have Clausen. Fine, JC is not good, but what weapons does Newton have??? No Wrs, No line, and a terrible defense….
8:11 – Von Miller is the best prospect in the draft and is a great pick for the Broncos, however, whats with the glasses Von?!?!?
8:19 – Buffalo opts for Alabama’s Marcel Dareus at No. 3. Solid pick here for a team with a lot of holes. Kiper loves the pick and Ryan Fitspatrick…. Somewhere I can hear Katie Gunnerson groan.
8:25 – Predictably, the Bengals select A.J. Green. Thus far, there have been absolutely no surprises, and two of the first four picks were suspended for part of the season. According to Gruden, Green was the best offensive player in the draft. His main area of concern with Green? Well, he has none.
8:30 - The Cardinals sprint to the podium to lock in Patrick Peterson at No. 5. This pick was a no-brainer.
8:35 –First trade of the night folks! Atlanta sells out trades up to add Julio Jones to its already impressive arsenal of offensive weapons. There were rumors that the Falcons might try something like this. Conveniently, Jones is already wearing Atlanta’s colors… Which begs me to ask, which will be better fashion to watch, the draft prospects, or the royal wedding tomorrow?!?!?
8:40 –The 49ers opt for Missouri’s Aldon Smith, over Sunshine from Remember the Titans. Really thought they should of went Quinn, but not going QB shows a lot of faith in Alex Smith.
8:44 – Sunshine should come off the board here to Tenn……. NOT SO FAST! Jake Locker is the pick, making his decision to stay in school not so bad after all.
8:57 – The Dallas Cowboys select USC’s Tyron Smith to help anchor its offensive line.
9:02 – What the hell is this E39 Electronic Compression Shirt from Under Armour? Why does someone want to walk around looking like Iron Man and how quickly till my brother owns it.
9:04 – Jax trades up and selects Sunshine in my first “What the….” Pick of the draft. They went 8-8 with D.G., and might be a couple defense pieces away from the playoffs. Why trade for a QB that will sit on your bench this year?
9:13 - The Texans make my second “What the…” pick with J.J. Watt from Wisconsin. Quinn, Bowers, Jordan are all on the board still…….
9:15 – Ladies and gentlemen, our first real upset. Christian Ponder to Minnesota. Thank you Minn for maintaining your stance on terrible drafting and giving my Lions a chance to be successful. We appreciate it. BTW, for the people who are reading this and doesn’t know who Ponder is, he sucks.
9:16 – Here is my question, Gruden likes this pick. He has yet to hate a pick… seriously…. Gruden looked like a asshole on the sidelines, but in the booth, he is a damn care bear!. I do, however, love when Kiper hates a pick, because he gets really quiet, tries not to say much to offend people, but you can tell he wants to scream WHAT THE F$%$!
9:19 – Well the Lions are up. My friend Matt has informed me that if the Lions select Quinn, he will get naked, dance around and put balls in my face. So I guess his idea of being happy, if putting balls in guys faces… Interesting… I would love for them to draft Kerrigan, but that will not happen. No way they draft Fairley here right?
9:21 – WOW!!!!!!!!!!! Detroit decides to grab Auburn’s Nick Fairley, who’ll line up next to Ndamukong Suh. The new strategy in Detroit appears to be the complete and total opposite of everything ever attempted by Matt Millen. Millen loved himself Wr’s, Mayhew loves DT’s…. People always said in you need to build a winner in the trenches…. They are doing that!
9:27 – You know the Rams were hoping for Julio Jones to fall, but instead they grab Robert Quinn from North Carolina. Not a bad move here, but have to wonder why this pick you have Long among others. They need offensive weapons… Maybe a WR or TE in the second round will make me like this pick more.
9:35 – The Dolphins aim for the center of the fairway and take Mike Pouncey from Florida. Along with Von Miller and Patrick Peterson, this pick has as low a risk factor as you could ever want from a first round selection. There’s simply no reason to think that this Pouncey can’t be as sure a thing as his brother who plays for the Steelers. In fact, there was some talk that Tomlin gave his staff the directive to trade up for Pouncey if it were reasonable.
9:41 – Everyone is talking about the Redskins’ quarterback situation, and rightfully so, but I like the fact that they’re holding back and going with Purdue’s Ryan Kerrigan here. Kerrigan will be the steal of this draft class because no one works harder. Why go QB here when Dalton or Mallet will be available to you in the second round?
9:50 – New England does what new England does, trade picks, draft players and wins game. Shockingly they keep this pick and draft Solder, in might be the best Tackle in the draft in my opinion. The rich get richer!
9:54 - San Diego takes Illinois’ Corey Liuget at No. 18… filling a much needed hole (That’s what he said.)
10:00 – Well we are halfway in, and I must say, I love the Espn crew today. You let Kiper do Kiper, Gruden has been a rock and we don’t have 30 pointless interviews that we just don’t need. They kept it simple and I dig it.
10:02 –Somehow, the Giants just landed Prince Amukamara from Nebraska to boost a secondary that has been plagued with injuries over the last two seasons. A great pick for the G Men!
10:08 - Iowa’s Adrian Clairborn to the Bucs. Really thought Bowers was coming here and no I am wondering if maybe Bowers real concern was that he is DEAD!
10:12 - Cleveland trades up to get Phil Taylor, who Kiper calls “mountainous” and compares to a young Shaun Rogers. I call it a dumb trade. There was no way Taylor was being drafted before he got to the Browns…. On a side note, I love me some Peyton Hillis…. He is keeping the faith alive for the White Running back….You do you Mr Hillis!
10:22 – Indy takes Anthony Castonzo from Boston College to bolster a line to struggled to create running lanes in 2010. Another crafty pick by the Colts, who constantly seem to make intelligent picks. Matt has referred to Castonzo as George Costanza at least 15 times tonight, so I am glad to see him drafted.
10:30 – Jimmy Smith?~?~? nope, its Danny Watkins. The 26-year old Canadian who played at Baylor! What worries me about Watkins, is they showed more videos of him as a fire fighter, than they did with him at Baylor…..
10:39 - Cameron Jordan finally comes off the board to the New Orleans Saints….. Still no Bowers…..
10:48 – Seattle selects James Carpenter…… Pete Carroll will be fired in two seasons… Just watch.
10:52 –Drew Rosenhaus!
!!!!!! Haha that guy is better at anyone on getting his face on camera!!! I guess Jimmy Smith is his boy….
10:59 - So, wait… the Ravens just let the clock expire? Wait they picked…. No they didn’t, I’m confused.
11:02 – Confusion remains. Nobody knows who’s on the clock, who’s picking, or who’s been picked. This feels a lot like how most my dates go.
11:04 – The confusion has been cleared up. The Chiefs sneak in a Jon Baldwin pick ahead of Baltimore. I guess Baltimore was looking to trade and just ran out of time.
11:08 – The Ravens finally pull the trigger on Jimmy Smith. Gruden really seems to like this pick despite the obvious character issues. So it’s official, there will not be a pick that Gruden does not love.
11:14 – Wait!!!!!! New England is trading a pick for more picks!!!! NO WAY!!!!!!!!! UNHEARD OF!!!! The Saints come marching in and swap with New England in order to grab Mark Ingram. Gruden loves the pick, as does Kiper. New Orleans’ leading rusher last season was Chris Ivory, so this is an obvious upgrade. Is Ingram going for the Ice Cube look?!?
11:32 – The Bears took Gabe Carimi from Wisconsin and the Jets took Muhammad Wilkerson, and the Steelers drafted a plaided Cameron Heyward. With the next three picks…. Sorry, I was in the shitter, Burgers had to come out sometime……
11:37 – Derek Sherrod from Mississippi State goes to the Packers to close out the first round as a Packers fan inexplicably screams bloody murder. I’m not sure I’ve ever been that excited for anything in my life. I don’t even think Derek Sherrod is that happy. Packer fans….
My big Winner: The Saints! They get Jordan and Ingram upgrading their offense and defense with two big time playmakers, without drafting in the top 20! That is great drafting.
Big Loser is Mr. Bowers…. Some thought you would go #1 back in November, now we are wondering if your in your SUV letting it run in an airtight garage?!?!?!
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